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Today's jokes [8.4.13]

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A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot
overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside
with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver's
seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat
calmly knitting.

He stopped to investigate.

He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked
up, obligingly cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, Officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading
this magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then
asked, "And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "I think she's
knitting a sweater."

Confused, the officer asked, "How old are you, young man?"

"I'm nineteen," he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve
minutes she'll be eighteen."


A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and 
knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and 
he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

"Don't know," the woman said.

He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. 
He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an 
equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- 
turn and drove up to them.

"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know 
how to get to Des Moines either."


What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?

A salad shooter.


    A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a
   family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him
   about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with
   people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come
   to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your
   brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so
   I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out
   the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do
   you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?


Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother
thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin. 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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