Today's jokes [8.28.13]
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A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices
two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of
the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of
"So what's going on here?" he asks.
The bikie replies "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm
trying to make him vomit."
The cop says "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his
The bikie replies "That's what I'm going to do next!"
Why do Farts stink?
So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.
What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
An insurance company.
George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal
and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a
long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone
tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked,
"Aren't you Moses?" But the man wouldn't listen to him
and continued walking. George asked him again, "Aren't
you Moses?" The old man continued ignoring him, even
turning his back on little Bush. George grabs the man's
arm, looks him right in the eye and insists, "Answer me
-- Aren't you Moses?" The man replies, "I'm not saying
shit! The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up roaming
the desert for 40 years!"
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple
reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the
husband, "When you
first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out,
and suck your tits
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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