Today's jokes [8.23.13]
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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel
bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?"
"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my
partner can buy the ticket!"
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table
working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter
about government. The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."
Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The
first mouse slams
down a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into
one on purpose and as
it's closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty
times." And with that
he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take
tablets, cut 'em up, and snort 'em just for the fun of it." And with
that he slams another
The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first
two mice look at
each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell
are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."
Q: What do you call a 6.9?
A: A great sex position fucked up by a period!
I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar
looking for me and I asked for her number.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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