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Today's jokes [8.21.13]

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Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear
walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running
shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear
slowly approached them. The second man looked at the first,
confused, and said, "What are you doing? Running shoes aren't
going to help, you can't outrun that bear." "I don't need to," said
the first man, "I just need to outrun you."


A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out 
and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears 
some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of 
his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the 
man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."


How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue.


What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?

A man will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.


Judi went to a "Dude Ranch" on vacation.  The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.

Judi asked what the difference was.

"Well, one has a horn and the other doesn't."

"Just get the one without the horn.  I don't think
we'll run into too much traffic out here."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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