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Today's jokes [8.10.13]

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No lawyers allowed- Prosecutors will be violated!

 If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one of
them, would you read the paper or go to lunch?


Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus?

Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea.
"I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got
 eight inches, and we do it eight times a day."
The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten'because his dong
is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night."
The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?"
She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.' "
"Why?  Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know.
"Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"


The little boy comes home from school and asks mom, "Where do babies come 
from?" Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time 
she replies, "From the stork of course!" The little guy thinks for a few
seconds and then asks, "But mom, who fucks the stork?" 


    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka
   had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers,
   the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
   "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?"
   "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the
   seeds into their pockets."


As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside
a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists.  An Arab 
salesman approached them carrying belts. 

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked 
where they were from. 

"America," the husband replied. 

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. 
"She's not from the States." 

"Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he 
your husband?" "Yes." she replied. 

Turning to the husband, he offered..... "I'll give you 100 camels 
for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long 
silence.  Finally he replied, "she's not for sale." 

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her 
husband what took him so long to answer, to which the 
husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 
camels back home."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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