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Today's stories [7.4.13]

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Long ago in Israel the wisest man, a great philopher and thinker, was 
holding audience. Everyone was there - the hall was packed out - 
politicians at the front, professionals, doctors, lawyers next, then 
businessmen, etc., with lesser beings further and further away. 

He intones his most famous and deepest saying: "Life is like a fish". 
Everyone murmers in obedient and respectful agreement "How wise", "What a 
thinker", "How true", "What a man". 

At the very back of hall, a callow, spotty youth - a freshman probably, 
sticks his hand up and asks "Why?". Absolute horror around the hall... 
They stare round enraged at him "How can he question the great man?", "Has 
he no sense at all?". They stare back anxiously at the great man - what 
will he do? He doesn't react, just sits there, pondering. The atmosphere 
is electric. After ten minutes of deep thought, the great man looks up, 
the audience expectant with bated breathe. He speaks. "Alright, so it's 
not like a fish".

1. 




After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already 
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next 
few hours, expect to see: 

The original "I love you" virus 
The "I like you alot" virus 
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus 
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus 
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus 
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus 
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus 
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus 

and finally, 

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus

2. 




The classically minded among us may have noted a new TV ad for
Microsoft's Internet Explorer e-mail program which uses the
musical theme of the "Confutatis Maledictis" from Mozart's Requiem. 

"Where do you want to go today?" is the cheery line on the screen, while 
the chorus sings "Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis." For 
those of you who have not studied Latin, this translates to "The damned 
and accursed are consigned to the flames of hell." 

Good to know that Microsoft has done its research!

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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