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Today's jokes [7.7.13]

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What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?

The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.

1. 




What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common? 

They are four ways you can lose your house!  

2. 




Mr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He 
ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked, "What are those bags for?"
"I'm collecting for Israel", said Mr. Goldfarb.
"You need two bags?", asked Mr. Klein.
"I've got a system, said Mr. Goldfarb. It's fantastic. I go into the men's 
room. I pull out a knife and hold it up. Then I say, 'Give for Israel or 
get a circumcision.' It works. I have forty thousand dollars in this bag.
"What do you have in the other bag?", inquired Mr. Klein.
"Oh, well, not everybody gives."

3. 




The strong young man at the construction site was bragging 
that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a 
special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After 
several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. 
"I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a 
wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to 
wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you 
got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the 
handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. 
Get in."

4. 




The organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different
limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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