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Today's jokes [7.31.13]

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Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by 
a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the 
nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the 
dog's neck.
A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy. "A brave New Yorker saves friend from vicious animal", 
he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not from New York" the boy replies.
"I'm visiting from Kentucky!"
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
"Redneck bastard kills family pet".



1. 




Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around 
their ankles. They have their penis' in a snow bank.

Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, "Boys! Boys!
Whatever are you doing... you're going to catch pneumonia.  Put your 
penis' away."

The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, "Sister Margaret, don't 
worry, we know what we're doing.  Father Porter always likes a couple
cold ones after work...."

2. 




Q: What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

3. 




MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward any of this to your boss by mistake!!!

4. 




Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??

He thought it was a delivery service.



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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