Today's jokes [7.3.13]
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"Hey, Pal", the irate druggist shouted, "Put that cigar out
while you are in my store!"
"I bought this cigar here!" claimed the Customer.
"Big Deal!", said the Druggist. "We sell condoms too."
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said:
"Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult
you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that
I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and
then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd
like to make a little change..."
Two mates were screwing the same chick at the same time, and they were
greeted with the sad news one day that their common squeeze had got
knocked up. Having no way of knowing which was the father, the two mates
chipped in and sent her out of town to have the little bastard.
Several months passed without either of the mates hearing from the chick,
so one of them decided to find her and get some news about the pregnancy.
The next day, the other dude got a call from his mate. "I've got some good
news and some bad news," the mate said on the telephone.
"Well, give me the good news first," replied the other.
"The good news is that she's fine, and she had twins," came the reply.
"And the bad news?"
Why do women get PMS?
THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?
A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
mental abilities of
their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
stupid woman in
the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
meat, and we don't
even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
out last week
and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
be out done, the
Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
for a two week holiday
in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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