Today's jokes [7.25.13]
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17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a
few blocks away from his house when he realized he'd left his
plane ticket on top of his dresser.
He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly
entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife
washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.
She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out,
and squeezed her left tit.
"Leave only one quart of milk," she said. "Jon won't be here for
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.
He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the
city, what do you guys do around here?"
The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".
He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"
The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."
A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and
registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed
water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was
very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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