Today's jokes [7.11.13]
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Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.
Doc. said, how did such a thing happen? Johnny said, "It's
that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned
There's an Ahmish girl riding in a buggy with her mother, and she
say's "my hands are
really cold, how can I warm them up?" Her mother say's "Put them
between your legs,
that will warm them up." So she does, and her mother was right. The
next day the girl is
riding in the buggy with her boyfriend, and he says his hands are
cold, so the girl say's,
"Put them between my legs, that will warm them up." So he does, and
his hands get
warm. The next day he has a cold nose, and they use the same remedy.
The day after that
he say's "My dick is really cold" and the girl says, "Put it between
my legs and warm it
up." So he does. She's talking to her mother the next day and she
asks, "Mom have you
ever heard of a penis?" Her mother says, "Yes, why do you ask?" She
says I don't know
what they are, but they make an awful mess when they thaw out!
Did you know elephants have sex organs on their feet?
They step on you and you're screwed
Sent by D.L.Chapin
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's
pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the
dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries
its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house,
hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy,
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?".
The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. er.. no.. what happened?".
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day.
But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, we went
outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him
back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"
There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up
and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got
mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car
and went to find the condom.
He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked for
it back the boy refused. "C'mon" he begged, "I'll give u a dollar."
"Well," little boy thought, "Okay."
So the little boy ran home. "Mom, you'll never guess what just
what just happened! I sold this guy a twinky for a dollar, but I
tricked him. I sucked the cream out of it first!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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