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Today's quotes [6.28.13]

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"I'm leaving in a couple hours for Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm going to
 visit some family over Christmas. This is where my grandmother lives.
 She has dementia, and is firmly convinced that a trio of hoodlums have
 tunneled through the ground to her house and are now residing in her
 utility closet."
"HEY!  There's actually FOUR of us!  And we're not hoodlums, we're thugs.
 Tell her to get it straight."
                        -- kife@ix.netcom.com, Lt. Wilkes


1. 




"A career in mathematics is the scholastic equivalent of [the] Vietnam War."
                        -- From the sig of Jake Kesinger


2. 




"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward." 

    - J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President 

3. 




"So does anyone use goto in Ada?"
                        -- Dan Glastonbury


4. 




"I've even seen adverts for an Australian beer called 'Castlemaine F*ck'. At
 least, I assume that's what it's called - the hoarding adverts say things like
 'Australians wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else' and so on. I wonder how
 anyone brings themselves to order such a thing. ;-)"
                        -- Jo Walton, in rec.arts.sf.written (found in
                                alt.humor.best-of-usenet)


5. 



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