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Today's quotes [6.11.13]

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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles
beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. 

    - Dave Barry 

1. 




don't hit a man with glasses... hit him with a baseball bat

2. 




Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the
       mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the
       Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French,
       the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the
       Italians.


3. 




"More than 25,000 dedicated gun lovers from across Northern Idaho flocked to
 the Coeur d'Alene Convention Center for the two-day event, happily
 sublimating homosexual impulses amid a carefully maintained facade of
 platonic camaraderie."

-- "Homoerotic Overtones Enliven NRA Meeting"
from The Onion, http://www.theonion.com


4. 




"I feel schizophrenic; first he says 'open your mouth,' then he says 'keep 
it closed.'" 

     - Monica Lewinski

5. 



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