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Today's jokes [6.5.13]

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A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's 
on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, 
"There's a horses ass"
A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary 
Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..."
He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a 
Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country"

1. 




SAT score decay


As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.
The following may be the reason why.

A math problem in the 60's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this 
price. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of porduction is four-fifths of this 
price, or $80. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's using New Math
A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, 
and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of 
the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question: 
What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?

A math problem in the 80's
A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is 
$20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.

A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education.
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of 
living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)

2. 




Teacher: Why are you late?
Little Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Little Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow. "That's what I
did.

3. 




The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract
and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering
trying to establish a relationship instead of just a one night
stand. But he couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't already
in one.
"I can't help feeling that we've met before." he said.
"Yeah, I know." sighed the girl stretching. "It happens to me
a lot. I think they call this 'deja screw'. 

4. 




This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and
roomservice at a hotel in Asia.  It was  recorded and
published in the Far East Economic Review: 

Room Service:  "Morny.  Ruin sorbees." 
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." 
RS :  "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" 
Guest:  "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." 
RS:  "Ow July den?" 
G:  "What??" 
RS:  "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?" 
G:  "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please." 
RS:  "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?" 
G:  "Crisp will be fine" 
RS:  "Hokay. An San tos?" 
G:  "What?" 
RS:  "San tos. July San tos?" 
G:  "I don't think so" 
RS:  "No? Judo one toes??" 
G:  "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes' means." 
RS:  "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?" 
G:  "English muffin!!  I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine.  Yes, an  English muffin will be fine." 
RS:  "We bother?" 
G:  "No..just put the bother on the side." 
RS:  "Wad?" 
G:  "I mean butter - just put it on the side." 
RS: "Copy?" 
G:  "Sorry?" 
RS:  "Copy...tea...mill?" 
G:  "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." 
RS:  "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache,
crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey
sigh, and copy....rye??"
G:  "Whatever you say." 
RS:  "Tendjewberrymud" 
G : "You're welcome" 

Have a good day

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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