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Today's jokes [6.24.13]

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Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.


1. 




One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants,

and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his

penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor

says, "I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some 

medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you

something else." So clinton takes the perscription and takes the 

pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician 

then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in

3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription

he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says,"Rub this 

around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton 

returns the next day and starts shouting, "Wow! That stuff was

terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!"

The docter then calmly replied; Lipstick remover.
 
Sent by Bradley

2. 




Another yamamma...

Your mamma is so fat when god said let there be light
he asked her to step out of the way

Sent by tuna fish

3. 




Feminist's Fairytale!!
   Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
   happened upon a frog in a pond.
   The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an
   evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and will turn back
   into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom
   and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and
   forever feel happy doing so."
   That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing
   and saying, "I don't think so."


4. 




A man went to his dentist because he feels something
wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is
eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all
I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made
some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was
delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put
it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollindaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is
highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make
you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why
chrome?" asks the patient. 

To which the dentist replies,
"It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like
chrome for the Hollandaise!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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