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Today's jokes [6.21.13]

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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed
that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What
do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams" 

1. 




If Thinking Machines made toasters...
You would be able to toast 64,000 thousand pieces of bread at the same time.

2. 




What do a moped and a blonde have in common?

     They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one. 

3. 




A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and 
playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, 
but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground. "That's strange," said the fox. 
"Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree." "Listen, 
bud," replied the boy squirrel. "Did you ever try to climb a tree when you 
were in love?" 

4. 




Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game.
And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob: Darts?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Shoot some pool?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Cards?
Bill: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and
fool around with my wife.
Bob: Whadaya mean?
Bill: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around
with my wife.
Bob: What about me?
Bill: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob: Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill: Sure. C'mon, let's go!
at Bill's house
Bill: Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone
shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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