Today's jokes [6.2.13]
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What did the lawyer name his daughter?
This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I
just won the lottery!"
She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the
He replies, "I don't care...Just get the f**k out!"
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present?
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins.
Q. What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A. They both have balls just for decoration.
A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle
range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills
behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, "I think I'll just go
and shoot myself."
The sergeant said, "Better take a couple of extra bullets!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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