Today's stories [5.9.13]

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Before we were married Wife used to always say, "You're only 
interested in one thing." Trouble is now though, after 36 years, 
I've forgotten what the hell it was.

After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally 
land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked 
for items left behind. 

In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with 
a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our 
gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. 

In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-
address system in the concourse:  "Would the passenger who 
lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"

Ladies Night Out.

So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this 
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, 
so she pulls out a $10 bill.  The "dancer" came over to us, 
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
         
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.  
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it 
on his other butt cheek.
         
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend 
pulls out a $50 bill.  She calls the guy back over again, 
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt 
cheeks.
        
Now the attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top 
that?  I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and 
then the financial analyst in me took over.
        
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, 
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.



Sent by Neicey

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