Today's jokes [5.31.13]
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Q. What do elephants use for tampoons ?
Two gay male lovers were talking and Bob says to Jon, "I wish I had chest
hair like you" So the next day Bob goes to the doctor and asks for
something to grow chest hair. The doctor gives him something and he says
"It will work in about two months." Two months later Bob has no hair on
his chest and back to the doctor he goes. The Doctor says, 'Rub some
Vaseline on your chest, and in a week you will be growing hair.' Jon comes
home that day seeing Bob rub Vaseline and asks "Why?" Bob says "to grow
chest hair" Jon says if Vaseline grows hair you would have a ponytail
comin' out your ass!"
In a Texas bar,The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the
regulars.So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them "whip 'em
out".Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar,at the same time a gay guy
walks into the bar.Fred ask the man if there is something that he can get for
him.The gay guy replies "i was going to get a beer,but i'll check your buffett
I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've
heard men refer to their "performance". Well, even these days I don't
have a lot of trouble with that.
But... since I'm now past fifty, the "encores" are getting tuffer and
The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day
someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter
words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All
evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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