Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's jokes [5.3.13]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasorass.


A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk. So in turn a pregnant topless 
dancer got on the bar and squeezed the milk out of her tits. He looked at 
this and said to himself, "I would hate to see how they give out bloody 


What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.


A little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking
a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She
had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair
of panties. The girl was so happy and told her mommy about it. The next
day when the priest was again taking his daily walk, he looked up the
same tree and saw the young girl's mother up there. She had no panties
on. He called her down and gave her two dollars to buy a razor.


A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students one
night. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speaker
system. "Listen to the sound of my voice...", he kept repeating, "the sound
of my voice... every word is a command... the sound of my voice..." Pretty
soon, he had every single student in the audience completely mesmerized, each
one hanging on his every word.

Needing to take a quick piss, he announced "I will have to leave the stage
for a moment, but you will all remain in a trance while I am gone" And then
he repeated the words "the sound of my voice... every word is a command." As
he turned to go, he tripped over the  microphone cord, landed on his butt,
and yelled "SHIT!"


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 May '13 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.