Today's jokes [5.24.13]
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A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car
is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,
dirt and blood. He asks his friend,
"What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about
the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."
Q: How do you give a woman an orgasm?
A: Who Cares!
Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever.
Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!"
"Play swords?" asked the other. "How?" "Simple. Whip it out, smack
it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords."
So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking
their dicks together playing swords.
Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions.
"We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums.
The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming
exhausted. "I'm tired," he said. He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill
A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a
blank form and wrote, "Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..
The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are
only nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for the
The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"
How come Mike Tyson's eyes always water during sex?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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