Today's jokes [5.23.13]
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A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says,
"I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away,
but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?"
Mrs. Clinton: "Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit..."
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to
do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!"
"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies.
"Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass."
"But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps
with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."
What is the definition of an overbite?
When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit.
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed
of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress
the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.
The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir',
it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the
number of times we surface. Divide that number by two.
If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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