Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [5.23.13]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, 
"I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, 
but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?"
Mrs. Clinton: "Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit..."

1. 




Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.


2. 




A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to
do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!" 

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies.
"Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass." 

"But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps
with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."

3. 




What is the definition of an overbite?

When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit. 

4. 




The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed
of working since a young boy.  He was trying to impress
the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir',
it's real simple.  Add the number of times we dive to the 
number of times we surface.  Divide that number by two.
If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 May '13 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.