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Today's jokes [5.22.13]

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What is grey and comes in quarts?

An Elephant. 

1. 




   While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn't enjoy it.
   Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly
   unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then
   quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: "What happened, did I hurt you ?"
   
   "Why no, not at all," said his surprised wife. "Whatever made you ask
   that ?"
   
   "Well, no reason actually," the bored husband replied with a sigh,
   "It's just that for a moment there, I thought you actully moved."


2. 




Mac vs. Etch-a-Sketch:

                                         You Decide



                                                __________
                                               |  ______  |
 ________                                      | |      | |
| ______ |        'But that isn't a fair       | |      | |
||      ||         comparison.  People         | |______| |
||______||        like the Etch-A-Sketch.'     |          |
| o    o |                                     | _ _ _ _ _|
|________|                                    (|__________|\
                                              |     ________)_
Roger Earl                                   [^]   |          |
roger_earl@outbound.wimsey.bc.ca             [_]   |__________|


After admiring the above signature I thought I'd post a comparison,
similar to the other great computer wars.

                                Etch-A-Sketch           Mac Classic

No. of Colours                        2                     2
Resolution                        ~2000*~2000           512 * 342
No. of buttons                        2                     1
Preemptive Multitasking              Yes                    No
Hardware line draw                   Yes                    No
Price                                < $20                ~ $1000
Power Consumption                     No                   Yes
Laptop                               Yes                    No
Slow Operating System                 No                   Yes
Non Volatile Memory                  Yes                    No
Choice of Coloured box               Yes                    No
Robust design (shakeable)            Yes                    No

After considering the above options, I decided to buy the Etch-A-Sketch.
For all you die-hard Amiga fanatics out there rumour has it that the
Etch-A-Sketch-Emulator is coming out for the Amiga, and will in fact
be faster than the true E-A-S.



3. 




A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from
inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor
of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having
a heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call the
doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says "daddy, daddy,
there is a naked man in the closet", husband opens the closet
door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it,
my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare
the kids"!!! 

4. 




A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a 
bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and 
sees that  indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. 
"OK, I am gonna see what is going on,  just close the door behind me" and 
he stepps into the closet. At  that time the husband comes from work, 
opens the closet and finds the repairman. 
Husband:  "What the hell are you doing here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a 
bus!"

Sent by Ser

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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