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Today's jokes [5.19.13]

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The Fisherman

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the 
sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth 
of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the 
stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out 
why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his 

"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you 
should be working rather than lying on the beach!"

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"

"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then
result in larger catches of fish!"

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You 
can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.

"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing 
boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"

Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you 
can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all 
the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in 
the world!"

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?" 


How to Hunt Elephants -- VP Style

When the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, his
staff will try to ensure that  all elephants are completely
prehunted before he sees them.  If the VP sees a
nonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment the
vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to
prevent any recurrence.

Sent by Alex


A girl gets a tatoo of Santa Claus on one thigh
and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that
there is something good to eat in between
Thanksgiving and Christmas. 


How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?

-His dick tastes like shit. 


A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins,
to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless
world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied,
"Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.
But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates
filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious,
I named them for you."

The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he
done now?" and said with trepidation,
"Well what did you name them?"

The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."

The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name!
What did you come up with for my son?"

The brother replied, "Denephew."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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