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Today's jokes [5.16.13]

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Frivolous Old Gal

I have become a little older since I last saw you and a few changes have come
into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five
gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go see John. Next, Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here, he
takes a lot of time and attention. When he leaves Arthur Ritis shows up and
stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he
takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and
glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with
Al Zymer.

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I
should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, "Oh, I do all the time.
No matter where I am: in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the
basement, I ask myself, now what am I hereafter?"


Q: What's the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.


   You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
   with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.


Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them
mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she
went into the family room to show her family they were impressed.
Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre,and your parrot on
your shoulder,and look you even have a neat sack to carry your booty,but
where are your buccaneers?
Says Mary, my buccaneers are under my buccanhat! 


If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no
one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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