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Today's jokes [5.1.13]

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Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid
   in the little boys arse?
A: There is a great musician in you.

1. 




   Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark.
   They start
   raping the nuns and the first nun says, "Forgive them, Father, for
   they know not what they
   do!" The second one says, "This one does!"
   


2. 




   Little Johnny says to his mother " Mommy, I have to go and tinkle."
   The mother replies back " Would you like Mommy to take you?".
   Little Johnny says " No let grandma . . . her hand shakes! "
   


3. 




Is this really your third marriage? 

     Sure is. 

What happened to your first two wives? 

     They died.

How did your first wife die? 

     She ate some poisonous mushrooms.

What about your second wife? 

     She died from a severe skull fracture.

How did she get a skull fracture? 

     She wouldn't eat the mushrooms.

4. 




Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was 
always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up 
after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good 
cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever 
smoked, and he replied that he had never.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's 
your excuse then?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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