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Today's quotes [4.8.13]

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"So let me get this straight:

 There are no photos of anyone doing anything at the party because the people
 that were the subjects of the photos weren't doing anything worth
 photographing. Furthermore these people weren't even there because they'd
 never be involved in such things and even if they were there they'd be too
 busy drinking water to be involved in the things that didn't happen because
 they weren't there in the first place. And Garth didn't take these photos
 that didn't get taken. Does this mean that Garth spent the entire evening
 on his own in a room with a camera?

 Now I'm really lost.

 PS: Did he have a glass of water too?"
                        -- me


"... but BELIEVE YOU US, if this weren't a SERIOUS situation, we wouldn't be
 discussing it in ALL CAPS."
                        -- a virus hoax hoax


   (written high upon the wall)
   If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's



Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.

                                                        --P.J. O'Rouke


   Any man who thinks marriage is a 50/50 proposition proves that:
   Either he knows nothing at all about percentages, (or)
   he's got an awful lot to learn about both women and marriage.


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