Today's quotes [4.27.13] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character." - - - P. J. O’Rourke "Parliament of Whores"
"When life hands you a lemon, say 'Oh yeah, I _like_ lemons, what else ya got??'" -- Henry Rollins
Douglas Adams - "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
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