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Today's poems [4.16.13]

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Dr. Seuss's Technical Manual

 What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?

 Here's an easy game to play.
 Here's an easy thing to say:

 If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
 And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
 And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
 Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
 And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
 And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
 Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 You can't say this?
 What a shame sir!
 We'll find you
 Another game sir.

 If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
 Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
 But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
 That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
 So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
 Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
 And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
 Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
 Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!


A parson who lived near Cremorne 
               Looked down on all women with scorn. 
                    E'en a boy's white, fat bum 
                    Could not make him come, 
               But an old man's piles gave him the horn. 


There was a sailor from Brighton 
               Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." 
                    She replied, "Bless my soul, 
                    You're in the wrong hole! 
               There's plenty of room in the right one!" 


A virile young man of Touraine 
               Had vesicles no one could drain. 
                    With an unbroken flow 
                    Thrice the course he would go, 
               Then roll over and start in again. 


Bill Clinton's no man of conviction, 
               Avoiding truth is a lifelong affliction. 
                    Mixes lies with the facts, 
                    We can never relax, 
               To him, truth IS stranger than fiction. 


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