Today's jokes [4.4.13]
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What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?
The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose
The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots
twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and
What are the three fastest means of communication?
"My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis," mumbles an angry
biker to one of his buddies.
"No," says the friend, "people don't die of syphilis anymore."
The angry biker replies, "They do when they give it to me!"
A fellow's wife was very worried about her husband's heavy drinking and
one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white
sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was
in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the
pub. It was not long before he came staggering along, and out she jumped
from behind a headstone. "Ooooooo!" she wailed, "I am the Devil!"
He sticks out his hand..."Put it there, pal," he says, "I am married to
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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