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Today's jokes [4.4.13]

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What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?

The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

1. 




The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes." 
The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide." 
The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?" 
The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?" 
The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!" 
The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose 
interest!" 
The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots 
twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and 
lie still!" 

2. 




What are the three fastest means of communication?

Internet 
Telephone 
Telawoman!

3. 




"My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis," mumbles an angry
biker to one of his buddies. 

"No," says the friend, "people don't die of syphilis anymore." 

The angry biker replies, "They do when they give it to me!"

4. 




A fellow's wife was very worried about her husband's heavy drinking and 
one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white 
sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was 
in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the 
pub. It was not long before he came staggering along, and out she jumped 
from behind a headstone. "Ooooooo!" she wailed, "I am the Devil!" 

He sticks out his hand..."Put it there, pal," he says, "I am married to 
your sister."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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