Today's jokes [4.3.13]
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A woman asks: "Why don't men get mad cow disease?"
Another woman replies: "Because men are pigs!"
A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:
"Come and bury my wife."
"But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker.
"I got married again," the man sobbed.
"Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."
Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
You get repossessed!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To escape an oppressive military regime.
Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock
swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said,
Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?"
She replied, "no sir!"
So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, "Did you like that?"
"Oh, indeed I did, sir!" she replied
The second man went out to her and asked,"Mermaid, have you ever had your
"No sir," she replied. So he set to and fondled and caressed and then
asked, "How did you like that?"
She replied," It was most pleasurable, sir."
The third fellow approached and asked," Mermaid, have you ever been
"No sir," she replied.
He said, "Well you have been now--the tide's gone out!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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