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Today's jokes [4.27.13]

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Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised
new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI 
insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was 
having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly
100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this,
the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales 
pitch. 

Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and 
then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the
government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't
have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only
has to pay a maximum of $6000." 

"Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to send
into battle first?"

1. 




a dyslexic man walks into a bra...



Sent by Robert

2. 




As a man ages, it is natural that his hair starts thinning.

It is a well-known fact that when a man is bald at the front
of his head, itís because heís a great thinker.

Also, when a man is bald at the back of his head, itís
because heís sexy.

Unfortunately, when a man is bald both front and back, he
only thinks heís sexy...


Sent by Buddy

3. 




Hiram answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room 
doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and 
I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost 
all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator 
the rest of her life."

Hiram says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

4. 




President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. 
She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, 
Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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