Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's jokes [4.19.13]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?


An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day 
of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, 
scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did 
it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that 
you just served?"

The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls 
testicles from the bull fight this morning.  A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on 
vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per 
day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early 
tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that 
evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.  
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called 
to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much 
smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the 
bull wins."


Wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on
those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE


A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A 
neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked 
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just 
right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was 
stuck again. 

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine 
until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again 
our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure 
the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that 
the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.


A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the 
subject of marriage counseling came up. 
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,"
the husband explained. "She was a communications major in college and I 
majored in theatre arts." He continued, "She communicates well and I act 
like I'm listening."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 April '13 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
   1  2  3  4  5  6  
7  8  9  10 11 12 13 
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 
28 29 30 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.