Today's stories [3.6.13]
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Subject: If You Gotta Go, Start Early
This story is about a rather strange reply for a
campground reservation. It is said to be true,
but you be the judge.
A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,
and elegant - especially in her language - was
planning a week's vacation in Florida so she wrote
to a particular campground and asked for a
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully
equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about
the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring
herself to write the word 'TOILET' in her letter.
After much deliberation, she finally came up with
the old-fashioned term 'BATHROOM COMMODE.' But
when she wrote that down, she still thought she
was being too forward. So, she started all over
again, rewrote the letter and referred to the
bathroom commode merely as the B.C. 'Does the
campground have it's own B.C.?' is what she
Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at
all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't
figure out what the woman was talking about. That
B.C. business really stumped him.
After worrying about it for a while, he showed the
letter to several campers, but they couldn't
imagine what the lady meant either. So the
campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion
that the lady must be asking about the location of
the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the
'Dear Madam: I regret very much for the delay in
answering your letter. I now take the pleasure in
informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles
north of the campground and is capable of seating
250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a
distance away if you are in the habit of going
regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to
know that a great number of people usually take
their lunches along and make a day of it. They
usually arrive early and stay late.'
'The last time my wife and I went was six years
ago and it was so crowded that we had to stand up
the whole time we were there. It may interest you
to know that right now, there is a supper being
planned to raise money to buy more seats. They're
going to hold it in the basement of the B.C.'
'I would like to say it pains me very much not to
be able to go more regularly but it is sure no
lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it
seems to be more of an effort, particularly in
'If you do decide to come down to our campground,
perhaps I could go with you the first time you go,
sit with you, and introduce you to all the other
'Remember, this is a friendly community.'
In The Oregonian, a Meier and Frank department store
advertisement for women's bras and panties reads:
The perfect gift for that special woman in your life,
or great to keep for yourself.
The following are actual stories told by travellers from
Mendocino County, CA to travel agents in the UK. (And you wonder why
US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. >
I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid but
Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like
the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me
various names off a list, none of which I could find I finally had her
fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New
Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and that
New Orleans was a suburb of LA Worst of all, when I called her back,
she was not even embarrassed.
I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one-hour lay-over in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
gates to save time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but
she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her
the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No,
why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a
minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing), I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline
was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
have numbers on them."
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and
sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted
my American Express."
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