Today's stories [3.28.13]
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Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a
stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license,
he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not
now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that." The guy
said, "Officer, I have *contacts*." The cop said, "Look, buddy,
I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."
The two butchers were brought into the emergency room.
They both had their left hands bandaged. "What happened?" I
asked the first one. "I was cutting some meat when the cleaver
slipped and cut my hand." I asked the other one how he had
been injured. "Oh, I was showing the other guys what *this*
guy was doing and I did the same thing."
IQ wanted me to know there's more than one "Judi" out there.
Her husband's secretary (Edna) one time shredded her (Edna)
own paycheck. Then she booked her boss on a flight and
said, "I even got you a window seat because I know how
you like to smoke."
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