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Today's stories [3.13.13]

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Some years back my live-in girlfriend (and now wife) came 
home while I was napping on the living room couch.  I was still 
half asleep when she leaned over me to try and get a kiss.  I 
wanted to say "don't get your hopes up" but then thought 
maybe "don't jump the gun" would be better.  In my half-awake 
state it came out "Don't get your guns up."



1. 




the walgreen's pharmacy was broken into and a large amount of viagra was
taken.  the local police said to be on the look out for two hardened
criminals.

2. 




Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: 

    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 

3. 



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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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