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Today's poems [3.13.13]

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There once was a vicar called Merick
whose fancied the choir boy Derek,
the vicars advances,
gave Derek  a shock,
for he was offered communion
from the Reverends cock

The bats in the belfy
squawked out in fright
as the reverend Merick
buggered with might

Merick was caught
and tried at the Crown
the judge gave his sentence
but he pulled his pants down

The judge was so angry
he cursed in one breath
"I send you to prison -
to be buggered to death!"


Sent by Dan 2001

1. 




A sweet senorita from Cuba,
broke wind when her husband did lube her,
so he entered her ass,
in an orchestral brass,
and she played alongside with the tuba.

Sent by Dan

2. 




Danger - Men at work
====================

I go to work
and look with glee,
at Linda's breasts
(the secretary)
alas, each night I go home
I'm feeling hard but I'm alone

I cannot have her
for my love,
she only screws grade C
or above

There is a woman
at the top,
she nevers wear a dress,
she smokes a pipe and has a 'tache
we think she is a les

There is a girl in section 4,
she wears no knickers
and her skirts are short
I think I have a way to fool her
I hope she'll bend to take my ruler

There is a fat girl on my floor,
I think she never had sex before,
Next time that I have a boner
I'll grab her ass 
and then dethrone her

There is a guy in building A,
I'm told, he really is quite gay
As I'm so desperate, I will fake it
I'll close my eyes
and make him take it

Sent by Anon

3. 




There was a young woman from Orrey,
Who fell down a fifty foot quarry,
She fell on her back
and opened her crack,
And in backed a thirty ton lorry!

Sent by Doug


4. 




Netting a catch
===============

I met her on the Internet,
she said her name was Kiki,
I spoke to her one Saturday,
it soon became twice weekly.

I liked her face, her pointed chin,
the way she touched her hair,
I loved her smile and glinting eyes,
and all beyond in there

I longed to meet her desperately,
but only could I dream,
of seeing her in the flesh
and not just on the screen

I booked my flight
and flew for hours,
I was feeling so elated
but finally, when we met
her face looked devastated

Why was this? I could not think.
Of course, I should have told her
I'm really only 4 feet tall,
and my head's a lot more balder.

It always seemed too good for real,
the honeymoon was over,
I reluctantly went home again,
and wept as I flew over
 
and soon enough , I did groan,
the relationship had ended
she broke my heart
the wretched bitch,
and still it hasn't mended

there is a happy ending though,
for after I lost Kiki,
I fell in love with Annabel
who doesn't find me geeky

Anna is a lovely sight,
she makes me warm inside
I have to blow her up, you see
cause she's my latex bride


Sent by Dan

5. 



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