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Today's jokes [3.26.13]

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How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?

Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors. 

1. 




What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick,
tick'?

'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'

2. 




Two friends meet each other on the street.

"Hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill.

"Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery.
I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Sid.

"I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over?".

"It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"

3. 




What should you say if he asks you "Am I your first"?

"You might be - you look familiar"

4. 




Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known
Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American
authorities.

Among the brothers:
------------------
Sooflay .......................the restauranteur
Guday......................... the half-Australian brother
Huray......................... the sports fanatic
Bejay..........................the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay................the twins from the African mother
Sayhay.........................the baseball player
Ojay...........................the stalker / murderer
Gulay..........................the singer / entertainer
Ebay...........................the internet czar
Biliray........................the country music star
Ecksray........................the radiologist
Puray..........................the blender factory owner
Tupay..........................the one with bad hair

Among the sisters:
-----------------

Pusay..........................the 'loose' 22 yr old
Lattay.........................the coffee shop owner
Bufay..........................the 300 pound sister
Dushay.........................the clean sister
Phayray........................the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway.......................the grocery store owner:
Ollay..........................the half-mexican sister
Gudlay.........................the prostitute

More will, no doubt, be discovered...including A.A. Sidday, Oz weekend TV Host.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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