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Today's jokes [3.17.13]

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

1. 




A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons 
for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they 
are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she 
finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. 

The clerk replies, "Yes it is the correct price. For one week only, you 
can purchase five boxes of tampons for one dollar, no strings attached."

2. 




Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.

3. 




Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused 
because she believes she's prejudice. 

"I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I 
immediately knew that he was guilty as sin." 

"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

4. 




A question for Bill Clinton:
"What was Miss Lewinsky's most memorable feature?"
"She has the whitest teeth I've ever come across"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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