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Today's stories [2.28.13]

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I had to go through a needle location biopsy recently.
This involves putting a 6 inch needle through a most sensitive
part of a woman's anatomy.  I had to sit there alone with
this thing pierced through my anatomy and I wondered, "Is
this how a whale feels?"  It occured to me, "I'm big, I'm 
white, I'm gay, and I have been harpooned!  That must make
me Moby Dyke!" My friends now call me "MD".

1. 




When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people 
began rushing for the exits, one patron shouted: "Quick! There 
are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"

2. 




Near the Delaware Memorial Bridge tollbooth: 

    "Information Police" 

3. 



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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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