Today's stories [2.12.13]

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Pfizer Corp. is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon 
be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a 
power beverage for use as a mixer.
Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims: It will now be possible for a 
man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  Obviously we can no
longer call this a soft drink. This additive gives new meaning to
the names of cocktails, highballs, and just a good old fashioned
stiff drink.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount And Do.
Also, something to think about:  the long-term implications of drugs
and medical procedures must be fully considered.  Over the past few
years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than
was spent on Alzheimer's Disease research.  It is believed that by
the year 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering
around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to
do with them.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, 
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist 
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly 
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in 
two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his 
Walkman. 

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending 
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand 
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. 
The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death. 

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