Today's stories [2.11.13] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING Germany was frequently bombing Russia during World War II. Every time the air raid siren sounded, people rushed to the nearest air raid bomb shelter. One person who never took shelter was a professor of statistics. He argued that there are seven million people in Russia and the probability of a bomb actually dropping on him was very small. Then suddenly one day when the air raid siren was sounded the professor rushed to the air raid shelter along with his neighbours from the building. "Lost your nerver professor ?"asked one of his aquaitances. " NO" said the professor " but I have realized that the bombs do not observe the laws of probability. There were seven million people and one elephant in Russia . Yesterday they got the elephant." Sent by nanditha
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault.....it was the asphalt!"
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