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Today's quotes [2.9.13]

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"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it 
like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should 
give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they 
leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

                                            - Bob Ettinger

1. 




"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: Duh."

                                     - Conan O'Brien

2. 




"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and
all the impersonators would be dead."

                             - Johnny Carson

3. 




"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

                                                - Paul Rodriguez

4. 




"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose
you were a member of Congress...But I repeat myself."

                               - Mark Twain

5. 



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