Today's jokes [2.23.13]
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During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy
back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a
red faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked
the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the
keys, "*Yours* is."
A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some
candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair
on the floor.
"Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?" asked the barber.
"Don't be so stupid, I'm only three!!" said the girl!
At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human
reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born
with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce
millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One
young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."
The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort
in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy
their two week vacation/honeymoon.
The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi
Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see."
A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once
inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?"
The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm
going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."
What's the difference between mono and herpes?
You get mono from from snatching a kiss....
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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