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Today's jokes [2.14.13]

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What does a camera and a condom have in common?

They both capture that magic moment.

1. 




A young couple were married and celebrated their first night
together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all
night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the
bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower.
He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When
she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing
his body for the first time to his bride.

Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped
and stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small
part of his anatomy.

He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's
what we had so much fun with last night."

And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?" 

2. 




You know why a dog licks his ass?

Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face.

3. 




Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? 

    - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident. 

4. 




Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman
was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. 
"I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision,"
he announced, standing up to leave ... 
"Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the
morning, let me know what you think."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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