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Today's jokes [2.12.13]

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The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she 
has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the 
sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wears panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, 
five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.

1. 




A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't 
dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look 
fat in those pants."



2. 




What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt?

Self-employed



3. 




Q: Daddy, daddy, what's a pervert?
A: Shut up, son, and keep sucking!


4. 




How is sex like air?

It's no big thing unless you aren't getting any. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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