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Today's quotes [12.6.13]

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Copyright (C) 1996 Association for the Study of Meats. All rights reserved.
 Your mileage may vary. Shipped by weight, not by volume. Legal in 49 states.
 Sorry, Tennessee. Fnord"
                        -- Disclaimer from the home page of the
                           Association for the Study of Meats


1. 




"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown


2. 




"WARNING: sending me junk-email will be interpreted as granting permission to
 bomb your offices and machine-gun your children."
                        -- Simon Slavin, in alt.sysadmin.recovery


3. 




"You can't see my face... it's buried in that girl's face..."
                        -- Sarah O'Brien


4. 




"God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on
 where to go.
         'Why not go to Jupiter?' asked St. Peter.
         'No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,' said God.
         'Well, how about Mercury?'
         'No, it's too hot there.'
         'Okay,' said St. Peter, 'What about Earth?'
         'No,' said God, 'They're such horrible gossips.  When I was
 there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're
 still talking about it.'"
                        -- fortune


5. 



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