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Today's jokes [12.6.13]

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It was during a ball at Andrew Jackson's country home that the 
family physician approached Mrs. Jackson to say, "You're 
looking wonderful tonite, Rachel! What keeps you so radiant 
and effervescent?"

"Having such a popular husband, of course."

"Surely there must be more to it than that, madam."

"Well, there's Old Hickory's dickery, doc."



1. 




A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so 
after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the 
minor of three possible operations. 

The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not 
pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he 
recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious 
operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative. 

But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back 
in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one. 

After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes 
normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in 
conceiving a baby.

Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular 
examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so 
happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this 
third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, 
but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy 
for weeks after."

"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard 
operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather 
than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to 
your uterus."

2. 




What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell 
out of a tree would kill you?

A pool table.



3. 




Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
A: He wiped the chain and pulled himself.

4. 




Why did the woman with P.M.S. cross the road? 

     She just did, alright!! 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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