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Today's jokes [12.4.13]

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Good News, Bad News, Worse News

  Good: 
        Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
   Bad: 
        You can't find your birth control pills
 Worse: 
        Your daughter borrowed them

1. 




   Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride,
   but you don't want your friends to see you on one.
   


2. 




An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife
in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted.

To which his wife said to her lover 'See, I told you he was stupid'

3. 




How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's style

Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds
around arguing about who owns the droppings.  Software
lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the
look and feel of one dropping.

Sent by Alex

4. 




Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf 
of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good
opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."

He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that 
you have the Staff of Life in one hand.  What do you have in the 
other?"

Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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