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Today's jokes [12.11.13]

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As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive 
called his newly hired assistant into his office. "Do you know 
what time we quit around here ?" he asked.

"Sure !" the girl nervously giggled. "Whenever somebody 
knocks on the door."


Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants.
It's done on a very high level.
There's a lot of stomping and screaming involved.
And it takes two years to get any results.


Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?
A. Because she found out what the big boys eat. 


I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my 
secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an 
agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.

She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is four 
hundred a week."

I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. 

She shook her head and replied, "With pleasure, it'll be $600 
a week."


   On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim
   wife was bragging about her figure. "You know honey," she said, "I can
   still get into the skirts I had before we were married."
   "Yeah ?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the
   ball game on TV. "I wish to hell I could."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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